Backward Lessons for Forward Growth
Have you ever experienced something that made you stop and truly reflect on the lessons hidden within it?
That happened to me recently when I was asked to give a speech at a Toastmasters meeting themed, “Show Up and Face Your Fears.” What made this meeting unique was that it was structured as a “backwards meeting.” Instead of following the usual order, everything was reversed, the closing came first, and the traditional opening elements, like the Pledge of Allegiance and speaker introductions, happened at the very end.
At first, I found myself questioning it. Why change something that already works? Why disrupt the familiar flow?
But that was exactly the point.
This “backwards” format wasn’t just about changing the agenda, it was about shifting perception. It challenged us to step outside of routine, to see things differently, and to recognize that sometimes growth requires us to break patterns we’ve grown comfortable with.
By the end of the meeting, my perspective had completely shifted. I was not only glad I attended, but I left feeling enriched, energized by what I had learned, and more deeply connected to the people in the room. What initially felt unfamiliar became meaningful, and even inspiring.
Here’s my speech, I hope it resonates with you.
Master Toastmaster, distinguished guests, and fellow travelers on this journey of life.
We live in a world that is obsessed with "forward motion." We are taught to look ahead, focus on the next step, and constantly strive for progress. We are told to treat life like a race, where stopping is losing, and looking back is a sign of weakness.
But I am here to tell you that sometimes, to go forward, we have to go backwards.
As the old saying goes, "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
How many of us have faced a "setback" that felt like a step backward? A job loss, a broken relationship, a failed project? At that moment, it feels like we are losing ground. But I invite you to reframe that moment.
Think of an arrow. It can only be shot forward by pulling it backward first.
In my own life, I have experienced several moments where looking back became the very thing that propelled me forward.
The first one I recall was after the death of someone very close to me. It was a painful time that forced me to reflect deeply on the lessons life had taught me. In looking back, I recognized patterns, insights, and strategies that had shaped my work. Those reflections ultimately led me to formally trademark The Faremouth Method, which I had developed from those very lessons.
The second came during COVID, when so many talented people were suddenly losing their jobs. It made me pause and look back at decades of experience helping candidates navigate change. From those reflections, I wrote an assessment book designed to help individuals better understand themselves and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.
The third experience came from something as simple as listening to a speech. I heard the CEO of Dale Carnegie speak about generational differences in the workplace. That moment stayed with me. I looked back at the insights from that speech, invited him onto my podcast, and through that connection built a relationship that ultimately led to him writing the foreword for my third book, Revolutionary Results.
Each of those moments began with looking backward. Yet each one ultimately moved my life forward in ways I could not have imagined.
And that is the power of reflection. Stay with me here and let's take a look at the steps we might use in this reflection process:
1. Embracing the "Backtrack"
Sometimes, we need to take a step back, pause, and gather our strength. This isn’t failure; it’s reflection.
Reflect on the past. When we stop to analyze our past mistakes, we gain insights into our patterns.
Rethink the path. If you’re hiking in the wrong direction in the woods, walking faster won't help. You have to go back to the fork in the road.
If you find yourself in a "backtracking" scenario, remember that it is simply a contraction and release mechanism designed to build momentum for the road ahead.
2. Learning from Backward Lessons
The most profound lessons are rarely learned when everything is going right. They are forged in the fires of disruption.
Failure as a teacher. A mistake isn’t a dead end. It’s just a data point. It tells us what doesn’t work so we can discover what does.
Letting go. Often, going backward means leaving behind things that once mattered but no longer serve our future growth. We must let go of the comfortable to embrace the necessary.
3. Moving Forward with Intention
When we apply these backward lessons, our forward motion becomes more intentional. We stop wandering and start marching.
The power of "re." Don’t be afraid to re-evaluate, re-set, or re-start.
Growth takes time. True growth is not about quick fixes. It is an ongoing process of learning and unlearning.
Conclusion: Fall Forward
So, to anyone feeling like you are taking a step backward, smile. You are only pulling back to launch yourself further. What the future can hold can be even more beautiful than the past!
Do not allow a setback to make you fail. Use it as a launchpad for your comeback.
As Denzel Washington famously said, when you fall, and you will, "Fall Forward."
Take the lesson. Cherish the growth. And never stop moving.
-
And in looking back once again, I’m reminded of a pivotal moment in 2014, when I was preparing to give a major speech at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego for a professional organization. At the time, I was overwhelmed and far from a confident public speaker.
My son, who was in an internship then, mentioned to his boss that his mother was anxious about speaking to such a large audience. His boss suggested something simple, yet life-changing, join Toastmasters.
The very next day, I reached out to several clubs and found one that welcomed me to a meeting that same week. I had no idea how impactful that decision would become.
More than twelve years later, Toastmasters has helped me grow in ways I never could have imagined. It’s not just about speaking, it’s about confidence, leadership, and learning to show up in a stronger, more intentional way in every area of life.
Experiences like the “backwards meeting” remind me that growth often begins with a shift in perspective. What feels unfamiliar at first can become the very thing that moves us forward.
So if you’ve been hesitating, maybe this is your moment to show up and face your fears, even if it feels a little backwards.
And as Winston Churchill wisely said:
“The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.”
I’m truly grateful I said yes to that first Toastmasters meeting, and for the lessons it continues to bring. Because sometimes, looking back is exactly what allows us to move forward.
Ifyou’re ready to grow and challenge yourself, consider getting involved with Toastmasters International. The District 56 (Houston) Annual Conference, “Ignite The CORE – Engage. Empower. Elevate.”, will take place April 24-25, 2026, at The Westin Houston.
To learn more or find a club near you, visit Toastmasters.com.
